Friday, December 19, 2008

"I think we have our story, ” said Jim Grant.


But he couldn’t figure out exactly how the rating agencies justified turning BBB loans into AAA-rated bonds.



Okay, enough playtime, back to sullen doom-and-gloom. Sorta.

I have to post this lengthy but great essay by Michael Lewis who I've written reverently about before. But what I'd completely forgotten about in relation to EM08 was Lewis's Liar's Poker, a book as revelatory about Wall Street as William Goldman's Adventures in the Screen Trade was about Hollywood.

He's such a great writer; while I remember digging Liar's Poker, the more I think about his later The Blindside: Evolution of a Game, the more it grows in stature. It is simply one of the greatest books I've ever read.

Now, with all of the EM08 trickery being exposed in business and politics, it seems like this could be the beginnings of something. If it's true that nothing lasts forever, then these devils have to go sometime. Until then, we'll have to rely on people like Michael Lewis and their insights. The beginning where he talks about having his head up his ass and yet entrusted to gamble big time should be required reading of kids in high school.

Last point; if it's anything that the Madoff theft has shown, it's that only he and those like him could have pulled off what he did. Clearly a sociopath, he had social engineering down. But there's another dimension; he was a white male. Together it created the emotional picture investors needed for him to climb the ladder from chairing NASDAQ to running his own fund. This element, what I'll call the "used car salesman type," runs through Lewis's piece as well. It--and Lewis's essay--speaks to things like "investor confidence" and pretty much blows it apart. Because if the market is one giant used car lot with P.T. Barnum hucksters, then you know who the suckers are, right? There's an old poker adage that applies: If you look around the table and can't spot the sucker, it's YOU.

Here, courtesy of Portfolio's December issue, is one great writer pumping out an utterly fascinating article; there are so many great lines in here. As usual, he tells an incredible story, made even more so by our empire's trickery being exposed. GREAT accompanying photo by Ji Lee, too.



The End
by Michael Lewis December 2008 Issue
The era that defined Wall Street is finally, officially over. Michael Lewis, who chronicled its excess in Liar’s Poker, returns to his old haunt to figure out what went wrong.

To this day, the willingness of a Wall Street investment bank to pay me hundreds of thousands of dollars to dispense investment advice to grownups remains a mystery to me. I was 24 years old, with no experience of, or particular interest in, guessing which stocks and bonds would rise and which would fall. The essential function of Wall Street is to allocate capital—to decide who should get it and who should not. Believe me when I tell you that I hadn’t the first clue.

I’d never taken an accounting course, never run a business, never even had savings of my own to manage. I stumbled into a job at Salomon Brothers in 1985 and stumbled out much richer three years later, and even though I wrote a book about the experience, the whole thing still strikes me as preposterous—which is one of the reasons the money was so easy to walk away from. I figured the situation was unsustainable. Sooner rather than later, someone was going to identify me, along with a lot of people more or less like me, as a fraud. Sooner rather than later, there would come a Great Reckoning when Wall Street would wake up and hundreds if not thousands of young people like me, who had no business making huge bets with other people’s money, would be expelled from finance.

When I sat down to write my account of the experience in 1989—Liar’s Poker, it was called—it was in the spirit of a young man who thought he was getting out while the getting was good. I was merely scribbling down a message on my way out and stuffing it into a bottle for those who would pass through these parts in the far distant future.

Unless some insider got all of this down on paper, I figured, no future human would believe that it happened.

I thought I was writing a period piece about the 1980s in America. Not for a moment did I suspect that the financial 1980s would last two full decades longer or that the difference in degree between Wall Street and ordinary life would swell into a difference in kind. I expected readers of the future to be outraged that back in 1986, the C.E.O. of Salomon Brothers, John Gutfreund, was paid $3.1 million; I expected them to gape in horror when I reported that one of our traders, Howie Rubin, had moved to Merrill Lynch, where he lost $250 million; I assumed they’d be shocked to learn that a Wall Street C.E.O. had only the vaguest idea of the risks his traders were running. What I didn’t expect was that any future reader would look on my experience and say, “How quaint.”

I had no great agenda, apart from telling what I took to be a remarkable tale, but if you got a few drinks in me and then asked what effect I thought my book would have on the world, I might have said something like, “I hope that college students trying to figure out what to do with their lives will read it and decide that it’s silly to phony it up and abandon their passions to become financiers.” I hoped that some bright kid at, say, Ohio State University who really wanted to be an oceanographer would read my book, spurn the offer from Morgan Stanley, and set out to sea.

Somehow that message failed to come across. Six months after Liar’s Poker was published, I was knee-deep in letters from students at Ohio State who wanted to know if I had any other secrets to share about Wall Street. They’d read my book as a how-to manual.

In the two decades since then, I had been waiting for the end of Wall Street. The outrageous bonuses, the slender returns to shareholders, the never-ending scandals, the bursting of the internet bubble, the crisis following the collapse of Long-Term Capital Management: Over and over again, the big Wall Street investment banks would be, in some narrow way, discredited. Yet they just kept on growing, along with the sums of money that they doled out to 26-year-olds to perform tasks of no obvious social utility. The rebellion by American youth against the money culture never happened. Why bother to overturn your parents’ world when you can buy it, slice it up into tranches, and sell off the pieces?

At some point, I gave up waiting for the end. There was no scandal or reversal, I assumed, that could sink the system.

Then came Meredith Whitney with news. Whitney was an obscure analyst of financial firms for Oppenheimer Securities who, on October 31, 2007, ceased to be obscure. On that day, she predicted that Citigroup had so mismanaged its affairs that it would need to slash its dividend or go bust. It’s never entirely clear on any given day what causes what in the stock market, but it was pretty obvious that on October 31, Meredith Whitney caused the market in financial stocks to crash. By the end of the trading day, a woman whom basically no one had ever heard of had shaved $369 billion off the value of financial firms in the market. Four days later, Citigroup’s C.E.O., Chuck Prince, resigned. In January, Citigroup slashed its dividend.

From that moment, Whitney became E.F. Hutton: When she spoke, people listened. Her message was clear. If you want to know what these Wall Street firms are really worth, take a hard look at the crappy assets they bought with huge sums of ­borrowed money, and imagine what they’d fetch in a fire sale. The vast assemblages of highly paid people inside the firms were essentially worth nothing. For better than a year now, Whitney has responded to the claims by bankers and brokers that they had put their problems behind them with this write-down or that capital raise with a claim of her own: You’re wrong. You’re still not facing up to how badly you have mismanaged your business.

Rivals accused Whitney of being overrated; bloggers accused her of being lucky. What she was, mainly, was right. But it’s true that she was, in part, guessing. There was no way she could have known what was going to happen to these Wall Street firms. The C.E.O.’s themselves didn’t know.

Now, obviously, Meredith Whitney didn’t sink Wall Street. She just expressed most clearly and loudly a view that was, in retrospect, far more seditious to the financial order than, say, Eliot Spitzer’s campaign against Wall Street corruption. If mere scandal could have destroyed the big Wall Street investment banks, they’d have vanished long ago. This woman wasn’t saying that Wall Street bankers were corrupt. She was saying they were stupid. These people whose job it was to allocate capital apparently didn’t even know how to manage their own.

At some point, I could no longer contain myself: I called Whitney. This was back in March, when Wall Street’s fate still hung in the balance. I thought, If she’s right, then this really could be the end of Wall Street as we’ve known it. I was curious to see if she made sense but also to know where this young woman who was crashing the stock market with her every utterance had come from.

It turned out that she made a great deal of sense and that she’d arrived on Wall Street in 1993, from the Brown University history department. “I got to New York, and I didn’t even know research existed,” she says. She’d wound up at Oppenheimer and had the most incredible piece of luck: to be trained by a man who helped her establish not merely a career but a worldview. His name, she says, was Steve Eisman.

Eisman had moved on, but they kept in touch. “After I made the Citi call,” she says, “one of the best things that happened was when Steve called and told me how proud he was of me.”

Having never heard of Eisman, I didn’t think anything of this. But a few months later, I called Whitney again and asked her, as I was asking others, whom she knew who had anticipated the cataclysm and set themselves up to make a fortune from it. There’s a long list of people who now say they saw it coming all along but a far shorter one of people who actually did. Of those, even fewer had the nerve to bet on their vision. It’s not easy to stand apart from mass hysteria—to believe that most of what’s in the financial news is wrong or distorted, to believe that most important financial people are either lying or deluded—without actually being insane. A handful of people had been inside the black box, understood how it worked, and bet on it blowing up. Whitney rattled off a list with a half-dozen names on it. At the top was Steve Eisman.

Steve Eisman entered finance about the time I exited it. He’d grown up in New York City and gone to a Jewish day school, the University of Pennsylvania, and Harvard Law School. In 1991, he was a 30-year-old corporate lawyer. “I hated it,” he says. “I hated being a lawyer. My parents worked as brokers at Oppenheimer. They managed to finagle me a job. It’s not pretty, but that’s what happened.”

He was hired as a junior equity analyst, a helpmate who didn’t actually offer his opinions. That changed in December 1991, less than a year into his new job, when a subprime mortgage lender called Ames Financial went public and no one at Oppenheimer particularly cared to express an opinion about it. One of Oppenheimer’s investment bankers stomped around the research department looking for anyone who knew anything about the mortgage business. Recalls Eisman: “I’m a junior analyst and just trying to figure out which end is up, but I told him that as a lawyer I’d worked on a deal for the Money Store.” He was promptly appointed the lead analyst for Ames Financial. “What I didn’t tell him was that my job had been to proofread the ­documents and that I hadn’t understood a word of the fucking things.”

Ames Financial belonged to a category of firms known as nonbank financial institutions. The category didn’t include J.P. Morgan, but it did encompass many little-known companies that one way or another were involved in the early-1990s boom in subprime mortgage lending—the lower class of American finance.

The second company for which Eisman was given sole responsibility was Lomas Financial, which had just emerged from bankruptcy. “I put a sell rating on the thing because it was a piece of shit,” Eisman says. “I didn’t know that you weren’t supposed to put a sell rating on companies. I thought there were three boxes—buy, hold, sell—and you could pick the one you thought you should.” He was pressured generally to be a bit more upbeat, but upbeat wasn’t Steve Eisman’s style. Upbeat and Eisman didn’t occupy the same planet. A hedge fund manager who counts Eisman as a friend set out to explain him to me but quit a minute into it. After describing how Eisman exposed various important people as either liars or idiots, the hedge fund manager started to laugh. “He’s sort of a prick in a way, but he’s smart and honest and fearless.”

“A lot of people don’t get Steve,” Whitney says. “But the people who get him love him.” Eisman stuck to his sell rating on Lomas Financial, even after the company announced that investors needn’t worry about its financial condition, as it had hedged its market risk. “The single greatest line I ever wrote as an analyst,” says Eisman, “was after Lomas said they were hedged.” He recited the line from memory: “ ‘The Lomas Financial Corp. is a perfectly hedged financial institution: It loses money in every conceivable interest-rate environment.’ I enjoyed writing that sentence more than any sentence I ever wrote.” A few months after he’d delivered that line in his report, Lomas Financial returned to bankruptcy.

Eisman wasn’t, in short, an analyst with a sunny disposition who expected the best of his fellow financial man and the companies he created. “You have to understand,” Eisman says in his defense, “I did subprime first. I lived with the worst first. These guys lied to infinity. What I learned from that experience was that Wall Street didn’t give a shit what it sold.”

Harboring suspicions about ­people’s morals and telling investors that companies don’t deserve their capital wasn’t, in the 1990s or at any other time, the fast track to success on Wall Street. Eisman quit Oppenheimer in 2001 to work as an analyst at a hedge fund, but what he really wanted to do was run money. FrontPoint Partners, another hedge fund, hired him in 2004 to invest in financial stocks. Eisman’s brief was to evaluate Wall Street banks, homebuilders, mortgage originators, and any company (General Electric or General Motors, for instance) with a big financial-services division—anyone who touched American finance. An insurance company backed him with $50 million, a paltry sum. “Basically, we tried to raise money and didn't really do it,” Eisman says.

Instead of money, he attracted people whose worldviews were as shaded as his own—Vincent Daniel, for instance, who became a partner and an analyst in charge of the mortgage sector. Now 36, Daniel grew up a lower-middle-class kid in Queens. One of his first jobs, as a junior accountant at Arthur Andersen, was to audit Salomon Brothers’ books. “It was shocking,” he says. “No one could explain to me what they were doing.” He left accounting in the middle of the internet boom to become a research analyst, looking at companies that made subprime loans. “I was the only guy I knew covering companies that were all going to go bust,” he says. “I saw how the sausage was made in the economy, and it was really freaky.”

Danny Moses, who became Eisman’s head trader, was another who shared his perspective. Raised in Georgia, Moses, the son of a finance professor, was a bit less fatalistic than Daniel or Eisman, but he nevertheless shared a general sense that bad things can and do happen. When a Wall Street firm helped him get into a trade that seemed perfect in every way, he said to the salesman, “I appreciate this, but I just want to know one thing: How are you going to screw me?”

Heh heh heh, c’mon. We’d never do that, the trader started to say, but Moses was politely insistent: We both know that unadulterated good things like this trade don’t just happen between little hedge funds and big Wall Street firms. I’ll do it, but only after you explain to me how you are going to screw me. And the salesman explained how he was going to screw him. And Moses did the trade.

Both Daniel and Moses enjoyed, immensely, working with Steve Eisman. He put a fine point on the absurdity they saw everywhere around them. “Steve’s fun to take to any Wall Street meeting,” Daniel says. “Because he’ll say ‘Explain that to me’ 30 different times. Or ‘Could you explain that more, in English?’ Because once you do that, there’s a few things you learn. For a start, you figure out if they even know what they’re talking about. And a lot of times, they don’t!”

At the end of 2004, Eisman, Moses, and Daniel shared a sense that unhealthy things were going on in the U.S. housing market: Lots of firms were lending money to people who shouldn’t have been borrowing it. They thought Alan Greenspan’s decision after the internet bust to lower interest rates to 1 percent was a travesty that would lead to some terrible day of reckoning. Neither of these insights was entirely original. Ivy Zelman, at the time the housing-market analyst at Credit Suisse, had seen the bubble forming very early on. There’s a simple measure of sanity in housing prices: the ratio of median home price to income. Historically, it runs around 3 to 1; by late 2004, it had risen nationally to 4 to 1. “All these people were saying it was nearly as high in some other countries,” Zelman says. “But the problem wasn’t just that it was 4 to 1. In Los Angeles, it was 10 to 1, and in Miami, 8.5 to 1. And then you coupled that with the buyers. They weren’t real buyers. They were speculators.” Zelman alienated clients with her pessimism, but she couldn’t pretend everything was good. “It wasn’t that hard in hindsight to see it,” she says. “It was very hard to know when it would stop.” Zelman spoke occasionally with Eisman and always left these conversations feeling better about her views and worse about the world. “You needed the occasional assurance that you weren’t nuts,” she says. She wasn’t nuts. The world was.

By the spring of 2005, FrontPoint was fairly convinced that something was very screwed up not merely in a handful of companies but in the financial underpinnings of the entire U.S. mortgage market. In 2000, there had been $130 billion in subprime mortgage lending, with $55 billion of that repackaged as mortgage bonds. But in 2005, there was $625 billion in subprime mortgage loans, $507 billion of which found its way into mortgage bonds. Eisman couldn’t understand who was making all these loans or why. He had a from-the-ground-up understanding of both the U.S. housing market and Wall Street. But he’d spent his life in the stock market, and it was clear that the stock market was, in this story, largely irrelevant. “What most people don’t realize is that the fixed-income world dwarfs the equity world,” he says. “The equity world is like a fucking zit compared with the bond market.” He shorted companies that originated subprime loans, like New Century and Indy Mac, and companies that built the houses bought with the loans, such as Toll Brothers. Smart as these trades proved to be, they weren’t entirely satisfying. These companies paid high dividends, and their shares were often expensive to borrow; selling them short was a costly proposition.

Enter Greg Lippman, a mortgage-bond trader at Deutsche Bank. He arrived at FrontPoint bearing a 66-page presentation that described a better way for the fund to put its view of both Wall Street and the U.S. housing market into action. The smart trade, Lippman argued, was to sell short not New Century’s stock but its bonds that were backed by the subprime loans it had made. Eisman hadn’t known this was even possible—because until recently, it hadn’t been. But Lippman, along with traders at other Wall Street investment banks, had created a way to short the subprime bond market with precision.

Here’s where financial technology became suddenly, urgently relevant. The typical mortgage bond was still structured in much the same way it had been when I worked at Salomon Brothers. The loans went into a trust that was designed to pay off its investors not all at once but according to their rankings. The investors in the top tranche, rated AAA, received the first payment from the trust and, because their investment was the least risky, received the lowest interest rate on their money. The investors who held the trusts’ BBB tranche got the last payments—and bore the brunt of the first defaults. Because they were taking the most risk, they received the highest return. Eisman wanted to bet that some subprime borrowers would default, causing the trust to suffer losses. The way to express this view was to short the BBB tranche. The trouble was that the BBB tranche was only a tiny slice of the deal.

But the scarcity of truly crappy subprime-mortgage bonds no longer mattered. The big Wall Street firms had just made it possible to short even the tiniest and most obscure subprime-mortgage-backed bond by creating, in effect, a market of side bets. Instead of shorting the actual BBB bond, you could now enter into an agreement for a credit-default swap with Deutsche Bank or Goldman Sachs. It cost money to make this side bet, but nothing like what it cost to short the stocks, and the upside was far greater.

The arrangement bore the same relation to actual finance as fantasy football bears to the N.F.L. Eisman was perplexed in particular about why Wall Street firms would be coming to him and asking him to sell short. “What Lippman did, to his credit, was he came around several times to me and said, ‘Short this market,’ ” Eisman says. “In my entire life, I never saw a sell-side guy come in and say, ‘Short my market.’”

And short Eisman did—then he tried to get his mind around what he’d just done so he could do it better. He’d call over to a big firm and ask for a list of mortgage bonds from all over the country. The juiciest shorts—the bonds ultimately backed by the mortgages most likely to default—had several characteristics. They’d be in what Wall Street people were now calling the sand states: Arizona, California, Florida, Nevada. The loans would have been made by one of the more dubious mortgage lenders; Long Beach Financial, wholly owned by Washington Mutual, was a great example. Long Beach Financial was moving money out the door as fast as it could, few questions asked, in loans built to self-destruct. It specialized in asking home­owners with bad credit and no proof of income to put no money down and defer interest payments for as long as possible. In Bakersfield, California, a Mexican strawberry picker with an income of $14,000 and no English was lent every penny he needed to buy a house for $720,000.

More generally, the subprime market tapped a tranche of the American public that did not typically have anything to do with Wall Street. Lenders were making loans to people who, based on their credit ratings, were less creditworthy than 71 percent of the population. Eisman knew some of these people. One day, his housekeeper, a South American woman, told him that she was planning to buy a townhouse in Queens. “The price was absurd, and they were giving her a low-down-payment option-ARM,” says Eisman, who talked her into taking out a conventional fixed-rate mortgage. Next, the baby nurse he’d hired back in 1997 to take care of his newborn twin daughters phoned him. “She was this lovely woman from Jamaica,” he says. “One day she calls me and says she and her sister own five townhouses in Queens. I said, ‘How did that happen?’ ” It happened because after they bought the first one and its value rose, the lenders came and suggested they refinance and take out $250,000, which they used to buy another one. Then the price of that one rose too, and they repeated the experiment. “By the time they were done,” Eisman says, “they owned five of them, the market was falling, and they couldn’t make any of the payments.”

In retrospect, pretty much all of the riskiest subprime-backed bonds were worth betting against; they would all one day be worth zero. But at the time Eisman began to do it, in the fall of 2006, that wasn’t clear. He and his team set out to find the smelliest pile of loans they could so that they could make side bets against them with Goldman Sachs or Deutsche Bank. What they were doing, oddly enough, was the analysis of subprime lending that should have been done before the loans were made: Which poor Americans were likely to jump which way with their finances? How much did home prices need to fall for these loans to blow up? (It turned out they didn’t have to fall; they merely needed to stay flat.) The default rate in Georgia was five times higher than that in Florida even though the two states had the same unemployment rate. Why? Indiana had a 25 percent default rate; California’s was only 5 percent. Why?

Moses actually flew down to Miami and wandered around neighborhoods built with subprime loans to see how bad things were. “He’d call me and say, ‘Oh my God, this is a calamity here,’ ” recalls Eisman. All that was required for the BBB bonds to go to zero was for the default rate on the underlying loans to reach 14 percent. Eisman thought that, in certain sections of the country, it would go far, far higher.

The funny thing, looking back on it, is how long it took for even someone who predicted the disaster to grasp its root causes. They were learning about this on the fly, shorting the bonds and then trying to figure out what they had done. Eisman knew subprime lenders could be scumbags. What he underestimated was the total unabashed complicity of the upper class of American capitalism. For instance, he knew that the big Wall Street investment banks took huge piles of loans that in and of themselves might be rated BBB, threw them into a trust, carved the trust into tranches, and wound up with 60 percent of the new total being rated AAA.

But he couldn’t figure out exactly how the rating agencies justified turning BBB loans into AAA-rated bonds. “I didn’t understand how they were turning all this garbage into gold,” he says. He brought some of the bond people from Goldman Sachs, Lehman Brothers, and UBS over for a visit. “We always asked the same question,” says Eisman. “Where are the rating agencies in all of this? And I’d always get the same reaction. It was a smirk.” He called Standard & Poor’s and asked what would happen to default rates if real estate prices fell. The man at S&P couldn’t say; its model for home prices had no ability to accept a negative number. “They were just assuming home prices would keep going up,” Eisman says.

As an investor, Eisman was allowed on the quarterly conference calls held by Moody’s but not allowed to ask questions. The people at Moody’s were polite about their brush-off, however. The C.E.O. even invited Eisman and his team to his office for a visit in June 2007. By then, Eisman was so certain that the world had been turned upside down that he just assumed this guy must know it too. “But we’re sitting there,” Daniel recalls, “and he says to us, like he actually means it, ‘I truly believe that our rating will prove accurate.’ And Steve shoots up in his chair and asks, ‘What did you just say?’ as if the guy had just uttered the most preposterous statement in the history of finance. He repeated it. And Eisman just laughed at him.”

“With all due respect, sir,” Daniel told the C.E.O. deferentially as they left the meeting, “you’re delusional.”
This wasn’t Fitch or even S&P. This was Moody’s, the aristocrats of the rating business, 20 percent owned by Warren Buffett. And the company’s C.E.O. was being told he was either a fool or a crook by one Vincent Daniel, from Queens.

A full nine months earlier, Daniel and ­Moses had flown to Orlando for an industry conference. It had a grand title—the American Securitization Forum—but it was essentially a trade show for the ­subprime-mortgage business: the people who originated subprime mortgages, the Wall Street firms that packaged and sold subprime mortgages, the fund managers who invested in nothing but subprime-mortgage-backed bonds, the agencies that rated subprime-­mortgage bonds, the lawyers who did whatever the lawyers did. Daniel and Moses thought they were paying a courtesy call on a cottage industry, but the cottage had become a castle. “There were like 6,000 people there,” Daniel says. “There were so many people being fed by this industry. The entire fixed-income department of each brokerage firm is built on this. Everyone there was the long side of the trade. The wrong side of the trade. And then there was us. That’s when the picture really started to become clearer, and we started to get more cynical, if that was possible. We went back home and said to Steve, ‘You gotta see this.’ ”

Eisman, Daniel, and Moses then flew out to Las Vegas for an even bigger subprime conference. By now, Eisman knew everything he needed to know about the quality of the loans being made. He still didn’t fully understand how the apparatus worked, but he knew that Wall Street had built a doomsday machine. He was at once opportunistic and outraged.

Their first stop was a speech given by the C.E.O. of Option One, the mortgage originator owned by H&R Block. When the guy got to the part of his speech about Option One’s subprime-loan portfolio, he claimed to be expecting a modest default rate of 5 percent. Eisman raised his hand. Moses and Daniel sank into their chairs. “It wasn’t a Q&A,” says Moses. “The guy was giving a speech. He sees Steve’s hand and says, ‘Yes?’”

“Would you say that 5 percent is a probability or a possibility?” Eisman asked.

A probability, said the C.E.O., and he continued his speech.

Eisman had his hand up in the air again, waving it around. Oh, no, Moses thought. “The one thing Steve always says,” Daniel explains, “is you must assume they are lying to you. They will always lie to you.” Moses and Daniel both knew what Eisman thought of these subprime lenders but didn’t see the need for him to express it here in this manner. For Eisman wasn’t raising his hand to ask a question. He had his thumb and index finger in a big circle. He was using his fingers to speak on his behalf. Zero! they said.

“Yes?” the C.E.O. said, obviously irritated. “Is that another question?”

“No,” said Eisman. “It’s a zero. There is zero probability that your default rate will be 5 percent.” The losses on subprime loans would be much, much greater. Before the guy could reply, Eisman’s cell phone rang. Instead of shutting it off, Eisman reached into his pocket and answered it. “Excuse me,” he said, standing up. “But I need to take this call.” And with that, he walked out.

Eisman’s willingness to be abrasive in order to get to the heart of the matter was obvious to all; what was harder to see was his credulity: He actually wanted to believe in the system. As quick as he was to cry bullshit when he saw it, he was still shocked by bad behavior. That night in Vegas, he was seated at dinner beside a really nice guy who invested in mortgage C.D.O.’s—collateralized debt obligations. By then, Eisman thought he knew what he needed to know about C.D.O.’s. He didn’t, it turned out.

Later, when I sit down with Eisman, the very first thing he wants to explain is the importance of the mezzanine C.D.O. What you notice first about Eisman is his lips. He holds them pursed, waiting to speak. The second thing you notice is his short, light hair, cropped in a manner that suggests he cut it himself while thinking about something else. “You have to understand this,” he says. “This was the engine of doom.” Then he draws a picture of several towers of debt. The first tower is made of the original subprime loans that had been piled together. At the top of this tower is the AAA tranche, just below it the AA tranche, and so on down to the riskiest, the BBB tranche—the bonds Eisman had shorted. But Wall Street had used these BBB tranches—the worst of the worst—to build yet another tower of bonds: a “particularly egregious” C.D.O. The reason they did this was that the rating agencies, presented with the pile of bonds backed by dubious loans, would pronounce most of them AAA. These bonds could then be sold to investors—pension funds, insurance companies—who were allowed to invest only in highly rated securities. “I cannot fucking believe this is allowed—I must have said that a thousand times in the past two years,” Eisman says.

His dinner companion in Las Vegas ran a fund of about $15 billion and managed C.D.O.’s backed by the BBB tranche of a mortgage bond, or as Eisman puts it, “the equivalent of three levels of dog shit lower than the original bonds.”

FrontPoint had spent a lot of time digging around in the dog shit and knew that the default rates were already sufficient to wipe out this guy’s entire portfolio. “God, you must be having a hard time,” Eisman told his dinner companion.

“No,” the guy said, “I’ve sold everything out.”

After taking a fee, he passed them on to other investors. His job was to be the C.D.O. “expert,” but he actually didn’t spend any time at all thinking about what was in the C.D.O.’s. “He managed the C.D.O.’s,” says Eisman, “but managed what? I was just appalled. People would pay up to have someone manage their C.D.O.’s—as if this moron was helping you. I thought, You prick, you don’t give a fuck about the investors in this thing.”

Whatever rising anger Eisman felt was offset by the man’s genial disposition. Not only did he not mind that Eisman took a dim view of his C.D.O.’s; he saw it as a basis for friendship. “Then he said something that blew my mind,” Eisman tells me. “He says, ‘I love guys like you who short my market. Without you, I don’t have anything to buy.’ ”

That’s when Eisman finally got it. Here he’d been making these side bets with Goldman Sachs and Deutsche Bank on the fate of the BBB tranche without fully understanding why those firms were so eager to make the bets. Now he saw. There weren’t enough Americans with shitty credit taking out loans to satisfy investors’ appetite for the end product. The firms used Eisman’s bet to synthesize more of them. Here, then, was the difference between fantasy finance and fantasy football: When a fantasy player drafts Peyton Manning, he doesn’t create a second Peyton Manning to inflate the league’s stats. But when Eisman bought a credit-default swap, he enabled Deutsche Bank to create another bond identical in every respect but one to the original. The only difference was that there was no actual homebuyer or borrower. The only assets backing the bonds were the side bets Eisman and others made with firms like Goldman Sachs. Eisman, in effect, was paying to Goldman the interest on a subprime mortgage. In fact, there was no mortgage at all. “They weren’t satisfied getting lots of unqualified borrowers to borrow money to buy a house they couldn’t afford,” Eisman says. “They were creating them out of whole cloth. One hundred times over! That’s why the losses are so much greater than the loans. But that’s when I realized they needed us to keep the machine running. I was like, This is allowed?”

This particular dinner was hosted by Deutsche Bank, whose head trader, Greg Lippman, was the fellow who had introduced Eisman to the subprime bond market. Eisman went and found Lippman, pointed back to his own dinner companion, and said, “I want to short him.” Lippman thought he was joking; he wasn’t. “Greg, I want to short his paper,” Eisman repeated. “Sight unseen.”

Eisman started out running a $60 million equity fund but was now short around $600 million of various ­subprime-related securities. In the spring of 2007, the market strengthened. But, says Eisman, “credit quality always gets better in March and April. And the reason it always gets better in March and April is that people get their tax refunds. You would think people in the securitization world would know this. We just thought that was moronic.”

He was already short the stocks of mortgage originators and the homebuilders. Now he took short positions in the rating agencies—“they were making 10 times more rating C.D.O.’s than they were rating G.M. bonds, and it was all going to end”—and, finally, the biggest Wall Street firms because of their exposure to C.D.O.’s. He wasn’t allowed to short Morgan Stanley because it owned a stake in his fund. But he shorted UBS, Lehman Brothers, and a few others. Not long after that, FrontPoint had a visit from Sanford C. Bernstein’s Brad Hintz, a prominent analyst who covered Wall Street firms. Hintz wanted to know what Eisman was up to. “We just shorted Merrill Lynch,” Eisman told him.

“Why?” asked Hintz.

“We have a simple thesis,” Eisman explained. “There is going to be a calamity, and whenever there is a calamity, Merrill is there.” When it came time to bankrupt Orange County with bad advice, Merrill was there. When the internet went bust, Merrill was there. Way back in the 1980s, when the first bond trader was let off his leash and lost hundreds of millions of dollars, Merrill was there to take the hit. That was Eisman’s logic—the logic of Wall Street’s pecking order. Goldman Sachs was the big kid who ran the games in this neighborhood. Merrill Lynch was the little fat kid assigned the least pleasant roles, just happy to be a part of things. The game, as Eisman saw it, was Crack the Whip. He assumed Merrill Lynch had taken its assigned place at the end of the chain.

There was only one thing that bothered Eisman, and it continued to trouble him as late as May 2007. “The thing we couldn’t figure out is: It’s so obvious. Why hasn’t everyone else figured out that the machine is done?” Eisman had long subscribed to Grant’s Interest Rate Observer, a newsletter famous in Wall Street circles and obscure outside them. Jim Grant, its editor, had been prophesying doom ever since the great debt cycle began, in the mid-1980s. In late 2006, he decided to investigate these things called C.D.O.’s. Or rather, he had asked his young assistant, Dan Gertner, a chemical engineer with an M.B.A., to see if he could understand them. Gertner went off with the documents that purported to explain C.D.O.’s to potential investors and for several days sweated and groaned and heaved and suffered. “Then he came back,” says Grant, “and said, ‘I can’t figure this thing out.’ And I said, ‘I think we have our story.’ ”

Eisman read Grant’s piece as independent confirmation of what he knew in his bones about the C.D.O.’s he had shorted. “When I read it, I thought, Oh my God. This is like owning a gold mine. When I read that, I was the only guy in the equity world who almost had an orgasm.”

On July 19, 2007, the same day that Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke told the U.S. Senate that he anticipated as much as $100 billion in losses in the subprime-mortgage market, FrontPoint did something unusual: It hosted its own conference call. It had had calls with its tiny population of investors, but this time FrontPoint opened it up. Steve Eisman had become a poorly kept secret. Five hundred people called in to hear what he had to say, and another 500 logged on afterward to listen to a recording of it. He explained the strange alchemy of the C.D.O. and said that he expected losses of up to $300 billion from this sliver of the market alone. To evaluate the situation, he urged his audience to “just throw your model in the garbage can. The models are all backward-looking.

The models don’t have any idea of what this world has become…. For the first time in their lives, people in the asset-backed-securitization world are actually having to think.” He explained that the rating agencies were morally bankrupt and living in fear of becoming actually bankrupt. “The rating agencies are scared to death,” he said. “They’re scared to death about doing nothing because they’ll look like fools if they do nothing.”

On September 18, 2008, Danny Moses came to work as usual at 6:30 a.m. Earlier that week, Lehman Brothers had filed for bankruptcy. The day before, the Dow had fallen 449 points to its lowest level in four years. Overnight, European governments announced a ban on short-selling, but that served as faint warning for what happened next.

At the market opening in the U.S., everything—every financial asset—went into free fall. “All hell was breaking loose in a way I had never seen in my career,” Moses says. FrontPoint was net short the market, so this total collapse should have given Moses pleasure. He might have been forgiven if he stood up and cheered. After all, he’d been betting for two years that this sort of thing could happen, and now it was, more dramatically than he had ever imagined. Instead, he felt this terrifying shudder run through him. He had maybe 100 trades on, and he worked hard to keep a handle on them all. “I spent my morning trying to control all this energy and all this information,” he says, “and I lost control. I looked at the screens. I was staring into the abyss. The end. I felt this shooting pain in my head. I don’t get headaches. At first, I thought I was having an aneurysm.”

Moses stood up, wobbled, then turned to Daniel and said, “I gotta leave. Get out of here. Now.” Daniel thought about calling an ambulance but instead took Moses out for a walk.

Outside it was gorgeous, the blue sky reaching down through the tall buildings and warming the soul. Eisman was at a Goldman Sachs conference for hedge fund managers, raising capital. Moses and Daniel got him on the phone, and he left the conference and met them on the steps of St. Patrick’s Cathedral. “We just sat there,” Moses says. “Watching the people pass.”

This was what they had been waiting for: total collapse. “The investment-banking industry is fucked,” Eisman had told me a few weeks earlier. “These guys are only beginning to understand how fucked they are. It’s like being a Scholastic, prior to Newton. Newton comes along, and one morning you wake up: ‘Holy shit, I’m wrong!’ ” Now Lehman Brothers had vanished, Merrill had surrendered, and Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley were just a week away from ceasing to be investment banks. The investment banks were not just fucked; they were extinct.

Not so for hedge fund managers who had seen it coming. “As we sat there, we were weirdly calm,” Moses says. “We felt insulated from the whole market reality. It was an out-of-body experience. We just sat and watched the people pass and talked about what might happen next. How many of these people were going to lose their jobs. Who was going to rent these buildings after all the Wall Street firms collapsed.” Eisman was appalled. “Look,” he said. “I’m short. I don’t want the country to go into a depression. I just want it to fucking deleverage.” He had tried a thousand times in a thousand ways to explain how screwed up the business was, and no one wanted to hear it. “That Wall Street has gone down because of this is justice,” he says. “They fucked people. They built a castle to rip people off. Not once in all these years have I come across a person inside a big Wall Street firm who was having a crisis of conscience.”

Truth to tell, there wasn’t a whole lot of hand-wringing inside FrontPoint either. The only one among them who wrestled a bit with his conscience was Daniel. “Vinny, being from Queens, needs to see the dark side of everything,” Eisman says. To which Daniel replies, “The way we thought about it was, ‘By shorting this market we’re creating the liquidity to keep the market going.’ ”

“It was like feeding the monster,” Eisman says of the market for subprime bonds. “We fed the monster until it blew up.”

About the time they were sitting on the steps of the midtown cathedral, I sat in a booth in a restaurant on the East Side, waiting for John Gutfreund to arrive for lunch, and wondered, among other things, why any restaurant would seat side by side two men without the slightest interest in touching each other.

There was an umbilical cord running from the belly of the exploded beast back to the financial 1980s. A friend of mine created the first mortgage derivative in 1986, a year after we left the Salomon Brothers trading program. (“The problem isn’t the tools,” he likes to say. “It’s who is using the tools. Derivatives are like guns.”)

When I published my book, the 1980s were supposed to be ending. I received a lot of undeserved credit for my timing. The social disruption caused by the collapse of the savings-and-loan industry and the rise of hostile takeovers and leveraged buyouts had given way to a brief period of recriminations. Just as most students at Ohio State read Liar’s Poker as a manual, most TV and radio interviewers regarded me as a whistleblower. (The big exception was Geraldo Rivera. He put me on a show called “People Who Succeed Too Early in Life” along with some child actors who’d gone on to become drug addicts.) Anti-Wall Street feeling ran high—high enough for Rudy Giuliani to float a political career on it—but the result felt more like a witch hunt than an honest reappraisal of the financial order. The public lynchings of Gutfreund and junk-bond king Michael Milken were excuses not to deal with the disturbing forces underpinning their rise. Ditto the cleaning up of Wall Street’s trading culture. The surface rippled, but down below, in the depths, the bonus pool remained undisturbed. Wall Street firms would soon be frowning upon profanity, firing traders for so much as glancing at a stripper, and forcing male employees to treat women almost as equals. Lehman Brothers circa 2008 more closely resembled a normal corporation with solid American values than did any Wall Street firm circa 1985.

The changes were camouflage. They helped distract outsiders from the truly profane event: the growing misalignment of interests between the people who trafficked in financial risk and the wider culture.

I’d not seen Gutfreund since I quit Wall Street. I’d met him, nervously, a couple of times on the trading floor. A few months before I left, my bosses asked me to explain to Gutfreund what at the time seemed like exotic trades in derivatives I’d done with a European hedge fund. I tried. He claimed not to be smart enough to understand any of it, and I assumed that was how a Wall Street C.E.O. showed he was the boss, by rising above the details. There was no reason for him to remember any of these encounters, and he didn’t: When my book came out and became a public-relations nuisance to him, he told reporters we’d never met.

Over the years, I’d heard bits and pieces about Gutfreund. I knew that after he’d been forced to resign from Salomon Brothers he’d fallen on harder times. I heard later that a few years ago he’d sat on a panel about Wall Street at Columbia Business School. When his turn came to speak, he advised students to find something more meaningful to do with their lives. As he began to describe his career, he broke down and wept.

When I emailed him to invite him to lunch, he could not have been more polite or more gracious. That attitude persisted as he was escorted to the table, made chitchat with the owner, and ordered his food. He’d lost a half-step and was more deliberate in his movements, but otherwise he was completely recognizable. The same veneer of denatured courtliness masked the same animal need to see the world as it was, rather than as it should be.

We spent 20 minutes or so determining that our presence at the same lunch table was not going to cause the earth to explode. We discovered we had a mutual acquaintance in New Orleans. We agreed that the Wall Street C.E.O. had no real ability to keep track of the frantic innovation occurring inside his firm. (“I didn’t understand all the product lines, and they don’t either,” he said.) We agreed, further, that the chief of the Wall Street investment bank had little control over his subordinates. (“They’re buttering you up and then doing whatever the fuck they want to do.”) He thought the cause of the financial crisis was “simple. Greed on both sides—greed of investors and the greed of the bankers.” I thought it was more complicated. Greed on Wall Street was a given—almost an obligation. The problem was the system of incentives that channeled the greed.

But I didn’t argue with him. For just as you revert to being about nine years old when you visit your parents, you revert to total subordination when you are in the presence of your former C.E.O. John Gutfreund was still the King of Wall Street, and I was still a geek. He spoke in declarative statements; I spoke in questions.

But as he spoke, my eyes kept drifting to his hands. His alarmingly thick and meaty hands. They weren’t the hands of a soft Wall Street banker but of a boxer. I looked up. The boxer was smiling—though it was less a smile than a placeholder expression. And he was saying, very deliberately, “Your…fucking…book.”

I smiled back, though it wasn’t quite a smile.

“Your fucking book destroyed my career, and it made yours,” he said.

I didn’t think of it that way and said so, sort of.

“Why did you ask me to lunch?” he asked, though pleasantly. He was genuinely curious.

You can’t really tell someone that you asked him to lunch to let him know that you don’t think of him as evil. Nor can you tell him that you asked him to lunch because you thought that you could trace the biggest financial crisis in the history of the world back to a decision he had made. John Gutfreund did violence to the Wall Street social order—and got himself dubbed the King of Wall Street—when he turned Salomon Brothers from a private partnership into Wall Street’s first public corporation. He ignored the outrage of Salomon’s retired partners. (“I was disgusted by his materialism,” William Salomon, the son of the firm’s founder, who had made Gutfreund C.E.O. only after he’d promised never to sell the firm, had told me.) He lifted a giant middle finger at the moral disapproval of his fellow Wall Street C.E.O.’s. And he seized the day. He and the other partners not only made a quick killing; they transferred the ultimate financial risk from themselves to their shareholders. It didn’t, in the end, make a great deal of sense for the shareholders. (A share of Salomon Brothers purchased when I arrived on the trading floor, in 1986, at a then market price of $42, would be worth 2.26 shares of Citigroup today—market value: $27.) But it made fantastic sense for the investment bankers.

From that moment, though, the Wall Street firm became a black box. The shareholders who financed the risks had no real understanding of what the risk takers were doing, and as the risk-taking grew ever more complex, their understanding diminished. The moment Salomon Brothers demonstrated the potential gains to be had by the investment bank as public corporation, the psychological foundations of Wall Street shifted from trust to blind faith.

No investment bank owned by its employees would have levered itself 35 to 1 or bought and held $50 billion in mezzanine C.D.O.’s. I doubt any partnership would have sought to game the rating agencies or leap into bed with loan sharks or even allow mezzanine C.D.O.’s to be sold to its customers. The hoped-for short-term gain would not have justified the long-term hit.

No partnership, for that matter, would have hired me or anyone remotely like me. Was there ever any correlation between the ability to get in and out of Princeton and a talent for taking financial risk?

Now I asked Gutfreund about his biggest decision. “Yes,” he said. “They—the heads of the other Wall Street firms—all said what an awful thing it was to go public and how could you do such a thing. But when the temptation arose, they all gave in to it.” He agreed that the main effect of turning a partnership into a corporation was to transfer the financial risk to the shareholders. “When things go wrong, it’s their problem,” he said—and obviously not theirs alone. When a Wall Street investment bank screwed up badly enough, its risks became the problem of the U.S. government. “It’s laissez-faire until you get in deep shit,” he said, with a half chuckle. He was out of the game.

It was now all someone else’s fault.

He watched me curiously as I scribbled down his words. “What’s this for?” he asked.

I told him I thought it might be worth revisiting the world I’d described in Liar’s Poker, now that it was finally dying. Maybe bring out a 20th-anniversary edition.

“That’s nauseating,” he said.

Hard as it was for him to enjoy my company, it was harder for me not to enjoy his. He was still tough, as straight and blunt as a butcher. He’d helped create a monster, but he still had in him a lot of the old Wall Street, where people said things like “A man’s word is his bond.” On that Wall Street, people didn’t walk out of their firms and cause trouble for their former bosses by writing books about them. “No,” he said, “I think we can agree about this: Your fucking book destroyed my career, and it made yours.” With that, the former king of a former Wall Street lifted the plate that held his appetizer and asked sweetly, “Would you like a deviled egg?”

Until that moment, I hadn’t paid much attention to what he’d been eating. Now I saw he’d ordered the best thing in the house, this gorgeous frothy confection of an earlier age. Who ever dreamed up the deviled egg? Who knew that a simple egg could be made so complicated and yet so appealing? I reached over and took one. Something for nothing. It never loses its charm.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Gran Torino, Seven Pounds

One of the things helping to distract us lately is going to screenings. Because of the Oscars and the holiday season, Fish and I have been in screening mania mode; there's been a glut and we can't seem to keep up. I just turned down the new Sam Mendes one, I think it's Revolutionary Road with Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio, not that I mind. And the Cannes GP Winner, Gomorra is Friday. I can't make that either but I'm sure I'll see it eventually - supposed to be really ultra violent. Most of the time these things are just "eh" so I don't track them here, and although both Gran Torino and Seven Pounds didn't impress me either, I'm blogging about them because they are easily the most major flicks of the season so far. So, because if I write anymore about the insanity of the gangsters running their trickery I'm gonna jump outta window, for what it's worth...

First, I'm a Clint fan; I grew up on "The Man with No Name," the Clint-squint and with one of those long, thin brown cigars in one corner of his scowl. Later it was Dirty Harry, about as fascist as you can get, but 44 magnums just spoke loudly to this boy-child. With that, I knew going into GT that I wouldn't be impressed, mainly because I don't like Clint as a director. I find him simplistic, and with GT it's just downright hackish in parts. It's particularly evident with the young kid, (Bee Vang) who just can't deliver and in fact is just plain bad.

Now, I was interested to see what his treatment of Asian-Americans would be, and it didn't break any new ground. Instead, GT is just a vehicle for Clint to do his modern-day revival of Archie Bunker. That's 'bout it. Curiously, Fish and I were actually laughing.

Fresh off an Oprah love fest, tonight we saw Seven Pounds at the LA Film School (plug: where I gave a seminar not more than 2 months ago) which hits you over the head with Will's "tortured man." I guess he was taken by Benecio del Toro's last tortured man thing (Things We Lost in the Fire), it's my best guess. By the time the punchline rolls around Fish and I had pretty much, long figured it out, and it was anti-climatic. Everything about this movie screams MEANINGFUL! and DEEP! and is just demanding and commanding you to be moved. Oprah said that there wouldn't be a dry eye at the end of this movie. Shut up, Oprah.

Why Michael Porter is a Dinosaur

A few years ago I got my first taste of the vaunted Harvard econ brainio Michael Porter whose big wheelhouse is "strategy." He recently had a Businessweek cover story that I'm listening to right now, titled, "America Needs an Economic Strategy." He argues, and I agree, that America never thinks strategically and instead opts for politics, short-term, quick fixes and, by inference, non-analytical thinking - "incoherent thinking" as he says. He goes on to say that education is the most important fundamental. There are other generalities too numerous to name that I also generally agree with.

But that's about the limit of my agreement with Porter - the generalities, such as bolstering our "entrepreneurial spirit" just keep on coming. Whatever he means, it sounds good. But I completely disagree with him in that all of his suggestions bolster the old capitalism because they never address where the true revolution lies waiting. What's needed is not strategy to resuscitate the old system, nor a revision, makeover reform, but a strategy to migrate to true capitalism, where that dormant energy lies waiting.

And what, exactly, is true capitalism, the new capitalism?

It's too much for now and too late to fully flesh out. But if you read this blog then you've had tastes of it. I talk about it in my work with indie filmmakers - it's the very same principles and energy there as in the new, true capitalism; it is true capitalism, albeit in an early stage of development. For now, Muhammad Yunis, Vinod Khosla, Kiva.org, and one guy who was ahead of us all, E.F. Schumacher, are examples and provide further clues; they're pioneers, really, at least in the modern world. Some tribal communities have very different notions of economic development that I'll get into later that I think the new capitalism can use. They are the real pioneers.

More later.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Funny. Sad, but Funny.

There're hustlers and then there're Hustlers. The small time dudes sometimes crack me up for their ingenuity and entrepreneurship. Of course, the small time hurt people too, but like humor that comes at the expense of someone, it's still entertaining, even funny. Sometimes.

Fresno Housing Scam Uncovered

Police Say Man Rented Homes to Victims Who Didn't Know He Was Not the Owner

by Sanford Nax, Fresno Bee
December 3rd, 2008

An elaborate scam taking advantage of the mortgage crisis unraveled, authorities say, when Kristen Ables found another family living in her Fresno house.

"It was a mixture of disbelief and anger" that she felt on learning that she had been victimized, Ables said Wednesday as Fresno police announced the arrest of Sam Haley, 66.

At first, she was angry at the occupants: "You're stealing our house," she remembered thinking.

But the renters turned out to be victims, too. Fresno police said Haley illegally got access to the house -- an investment property on Saginaw Avenue that Ables was trying to sell to avoid foreclosure -- and rented it to the family, who didn't know he was not the rightful owner.

Police allege that Haley, who they said lost his real estate license in 1979 because of fraudulent business practices, carried out the scam at least 13 times -- and was likely to keep doing it if the unexpected visit by Ables hadn't uncovered the scheme.

Fresno police detective Donnie Dinnell uncovered evidence at Haley's home and business, Capital Investments Inc., that indicated he had people lined up to rent 19 other houses, police Chief Jerry Dyer said. Dinnell also found evidence that Haley had identified up to 126 other homes that he could possibly use in the scheme, Dyer said.

Haley operated Capital Investments out of a small office on Bullard Avenue and also had a company called Premier Plus Mortgage. Police gave no further details, except to say he and perhaps a family member or two were the only employees.

The case is the first of its kind for Fresno police, but similar scams have been reported across the country as foreclosures mount in a mortgage crisis that pitched the United States into a recession.

Thousands of homeowners -- unable to make payments or unwilling to keep a house worth less than their mortgage -- have walked away from the homes or have been evicted. In October, banks repossessed 13,227 houses statewide, 329 of them in Fresno County, said Sean O'Toole of ForeclosureRadar.com, which tracks foreclosures.

"I was waiting for these kinds of stories to start appearing," O'Toole said. Similar scams appeared in the early 1990s, when home values also tumbled, he said.

Haley was placing renters in the houses after the owners moved out, police said. He accessed data from the Multiple Listing Service of the Fresno Association of Realtors with the help of an apparent accomplice to identify houses in foreclosure. Haley then obtained the key box codes and entered the houses.

He then instructed unwitting renters to change the door locks, claiming he lost the keys, Dyer said. He also told renters that by paying rent he would help fix their credit so they could buy a home of their own within two years.

He also reportedly told renters that they may have to move quickly when the house would sell, but promised to put them in another house at the same rent. He acknowledged some were in foreclosure but also claimed he owned houses that were for sale.

Dinnell said the houses Haley targeted were unoccupied for up to seven months. At least four of the 13 families had to move out when the properties sold.

Dyer said Haley collected rents averaging $700 per month, pocketing $26,000 over the seven months he ran the scam.

Haley was arrested Oct. 2 on felony theft charges, but the announcement was delayed so police could determine exactly what went on.

No one else was arrested, but Dyer said it is possible the former real estate agent had help. Haley, who has since posted bail, allegedly obtained a device to enter the Multiple Listing Service database and key box codes from another real estate agent, who was not identified.

Cathy Kinard, who rented a house on Cornelia Avenue in Fresno from Haley, said she got his name from a friend. She said he showed her a list of available properties and she selected a three-bedroom home that rented for $650 per month.

Kinard said she gave him a total of $1,450 for rent and down payment.

"He wanted cash," she said. "That should have been a red flag. I didn't know I was being scammed until a detective knocked on my door."

The bank is allowing her to live in the house temporarily while she looks for a new place. "I learned a very valuable lesson," she said.

Jeff Schrager, president of the nonprofit No Homeowner Left Behind Foundation in Fresno, which counsels people about to lose their homes, said the combination of plunging home values and desperate owners is creating a rich environment for "opportunistic scam artists."

"You don't have to be a sophisticated criminal," he said.

This isn't the first time that Haley, who Dyer described as "nothing more than a scam artist" and who listed "Ph.D." on his business card, has been in trouble. His real estate license was revoked in 1979 because, police said, he kept loan fees intended for his client. He reapplied for the license in 1998 but the state Department of Real Estate refused to reinstate it, according to records.

He also surfaced in a high-profile incident in 1994 when city officials denied his application to operate the Virginia Hotel in downtown Fresno because he had a felony conviction in 1992 for filing a false bankruptcy. Haley got tax-exempt status for a drug and alcohol rehabilitation program he planned to run from the hotel.

Haley claimed he was a retired Navy man and a recovering alcoholic.

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Monday, December 15, 2008

The Fix

When it rains it pours. By now everyone knows about Madoff's ponzi scheme gone bust, but calling it the biggest theft in history ignores the $700B just handed over on a platter to the banks with no strings attached. In fact, what's tragic is that I heard Chris Dodd himself say that provisions were stipulated for the banks to use the money (in part) for credit. As we all know, that hasn't happened, and the banks instead used and are using the money to go shopping for themselves.

Yup - my bugaboo; further conglomeration.

You think it's bad now that oil, auto, media, and cell phone oligarchs have consolidated, just watch what happens with just a few super banks dominating everything. It's a gambling law: NEVER put all your chips on one bet unless you have "the nuts," the best hand.

Does anyone out there honestly think and can you rationally argue as to how a few super banks is "the nuts," the best possible bet for America...? On the other side of the ledger, that club ("And YOU and me ain't in it," -George Carlin) where the elites sit, they absolutely know what to do: conglomerate!

What's going on is stupefying on a level that would make Marx's and Ayn Rand's heads explode. Well, maybe not Rand's, but you get what I mean.

Long ago, in a financial disaster far, far away, there was a company named Enron who played a game, the game of "now monetize this." And there was a referee, Andersen, to make sure that Enron dotted it's "i's" and crossed its "t's." And there was trickery afoot in Ken Lay's house, and it burned down.

And when the smoke cleared all was revealed - the refs had been in on the fix.

August 31, 2002
Arthur Andersen surrenders its license to practice accounting in the United States. 85,000 people lose their jobs. Nine billion dollars in annual earnings disappears.
(1)

Just like the NBA ref who got caught fixing games, the biggest sports story in the past decade in my opinion. Know how much money transacts on Vegas sports books? Some estimate it dwarfs all other forms of gambling.

Yep, Andersen was the REAL story of the fall of Enron. So what does this have to do with Bernie-Boy Madoff? Well, where in the hell were the refs, that is, the SEC???

Michael Ocrant wrote a story in 2001 for MARHedge, which covers the hedge fund industry, about how some traders, money managers and financial consultants questioned Madoff's record of 72 winning months in a row. "When I spoke to them about something not being right … they were adamant — there's no way this could be real," says Ocrant, now at Institutional Investor. "There's no one in history with that kind of results." [sic] He says Madoff smoothly dismissed the questions when he interviewed him at the time. "You could see why people would trust him, particularly since he'd been running a successful business for years."(2)

That's seven years ago that people in the industry knew. Now, if you're a watchdog, shouldn't you at the very least be reading and keeping up with industry trades? And if nothing else, a winning streak of 72 months long is statistically highly improbable. Realistically speaking, it's impossible.

But here's where American capitalism has taken a cue from show biz, of all things. The glitz, the glamour (think Trump, "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous") and the talking heads, both high and low. Shit, it even has its own channels such as CNBC and Bloomberg thanks to cable's wild west channel fest. In movies it was Hedda Hopper on through to Rona Barrett to Pauline Kael and Noel Burch. The corollary body in finance are the analysts (and journalists, too). Now consider this:

In 1975, deregulation of brokerage commissions opened up a Pandora’s box of competition for securities analysts. Suddenly discount brokerages abounded and took business from investment banks. As trade commissions declined, brokerage firms had diminished resources to fund analyst services. As a result, stock analysts relied less on brokerage fees for income and more on investment banking fees. They began to be judged more for their investment banking skills than their insights or analysis, and this is how what many regard as a systemic conflict of interest was born.(3)

In regards to the mortgage debacle, one thing stands out: the credit rating agencies, such as Standard & Poor's and Moody's. In other words, the analysts, or referees, this time in the form of credit raters. Because while there are barely six AAA rated companies in America such as Microsoft, ADP and GE, the way over-leveraged financial products containing toxic mortgages (some of these "products" leveraged over TWENTY times!) that eventually blew up and caused the house of cards to collapse were being rated AAA, the top blue chip rating.(4)

Bottom line? The present-day game of American capitalism's rigged and, surprise, it's not in your favor. How do we know? Easy; the refs are in on the fix.

NOTES
1. From the PBS series Independent Lens and their page on Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. This is from the sub-section, "Enron Timeline: 2002." Despite Andersen's shredding a ton of Enron related documents when under the gun, the fix appears in yet another incarnation, this time as judges. On May 31, 2005, the U.S. Supreme Court overturns the conviction of the Arthur Andersen accounting firm for obstructing justice by shredding thousands of Enron documents. Andersen’s top Enron accountant withdraws his guilty plea when prosecutors drop their case.

2. Financial world still amazed over Madoff's downfall
By David Lieberman, Pallavi Gogoi, Theresa Howard, Kevin McCoy and Matt Krantz, USA TODAY 12/15/08

3. From the PBS series Independent Lens and their page on Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room. This is from the sub-section, "How the Stock Market Works."

4. 60 Minutes this past Sunday ran a frightening story on the next wave of mortgages set to default, the ones just above the absolute shit sub-primes that we are now experiencing.

The trouble now is that the insanity didn't end with sub-primes. There were two other kinds of exotic mortgages that became popular, called "Alt-A" and "option ARM." The option ARMs, in particular, lured borrowers in with low initial interest rates - so-called teaser rates - sometimes as low as one percent. But after two, three or five years those rates "reset." They went up. And so did the monthly payment. A mortgage of $800 dollars a month could easily jump to $1,500.

Now the Alt-A and option ARM loans made back in the heyday are starting to reset, causing the mortgage payments to go up and homeowners to default.


A Second Mortgage Disaster On The Horizon?
60 Minutes: New Wave Of Mortgage Rate Adjustments Could Force More Homeowners To Default
December 14, 2008 broadcast

Friday, December 12, 2008

"You have no choice, you have owners," said George Carlin

When Carlin died I said that I'd write more, and boy has that time arrived. GC's probably waggin' his (no doubt middle) finger at us now.

His last HBO special was uncommon, even for Carlin. For one, he just appeared old, but man, he was as razor sharp as ever. I think he shot it just six months before dying.

It's a fitting last special for him. Now, I love Carlin as much as anyone, but even I, the king of miserable, was floored by this film. It isn't even comedy anymore, it's commentary. I tell folks that are like me disgusted about the current state of the world that they must see it. It's like he doesn't even give a flying fuck anymore and just lets loose, speaking the truth about these devils running amok. It is one of the most fearless displays by a performer I've ever seen. I can almost hear him saying to himself, "What the fuck, I'm an old man, what are they gonna do, kill me???"

He was, and is, priceless. And how we need his vitriol now. Although not from the aforementioned last film of his, following is a sample of a really good rant that might as well be. It's that great.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Economic Meltdown 2008 (EM08)

Ok, the cult of Tommy Friedman is out and in pretty full force. He guested on Charlie Rose again tonight, and while I think he gets some, perhaps a lot, of macro right, I think he loses it in micro.

I'm about a third of the way through, and the topic is Obama's cabinet, so far names that we all know. The first big problem I have with Tommy Boy is his statement that Obama has to be "radical" in terms of his approach because things are so jacked up. Now, while I agree in principle, the fact that he's choosing nothing but dinosaurs to help him shows nothing but, you guessed it, CONSERVATISM. How in the world are we going to revolutionize this system when dinosaurs are running it? After all, the meaning of "conservative" is "conserve," to maintain the status quo.

Again, the prime example of not moving with the times are in our face; my poster children are Yahoo choosing dinosaur Semel while Google did nothing of the sort and leap-frogged over them. Some might argue - persuasively so - for AOL/Time-Warner (or, "asshole/slime-barfer"), whose losses are so mammoth I've often wondered to anyone who'd listen as to how Parsons kept his job for so long. (I still don't have an answer that makes sense, so I chalk it up to he must have big dirt on a LOT of key peeps...)

People cannot STAND change, real, fundamental change, actually, revolution. Not the revolution with a capital "R" that is marked by bombs and guns but a revolution in thinking and doing. In short, like a casino, our system is unfairly rigged for the elites who control everything.***

Until a challenge to that system happens, people will continue to just be, as gamers say, "pwned."

=================

*** Curiously and counter-intuitively though, there's a sorta famous industrial shrink experiment. From memory it goes something like this: an assembly line is measured for average productivity per hour. Then a change is made; the lighting is slightly increased. Productivity goes up. More lighting. More productivity. Etc.

Then, a curious thing happens. The lighting is decreased and... productivity goes up! Conclusion? People react - in this case, favorably - to change.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Teflon Dons

Tell me, Mr. Harrigan, how does it feel, getting paid for it? Getting paid to sit back and hire your killings... with the law's arms around you? How does it feel to be so goddamn right?

-Robert Ryan as Deke Thornton in Sam Peckinpah's, The Wild Bunch


It's just crazy how because of the way these devils have completely trashed everything, the fact that we are engaged in TWO wars has completely receded into the background.

I was remarking to a friend how (and I think I just wrote about this, but I reiterate) it's also crazy the way the wipeout of billions in investor capital by the thievery and collusion of Enron, Andersen, Tyco, Worldcom, Global Crossing, Adelphia... is ancient history.

Which is to say that it's just of a piece that the following is going down - in the background - while everyone is distracted by the shithole we're in economically.

Mis-direction. A trickery tool par excellence.

One last note; I was watching Lou Dobbs yesterday, and he had on three talk show hosts - sorry I don't recall their names. The topic was the auto company welfare that's just the latest in the trash heap. The first two expressed outrage and shock, and then the third, a black woman, smiled and said something to the effect that her audience isn't surprised at all.


From Legal Times

Top Bush Officials Unlikely to Face Personal Liability for 9/11 Detentions

Tony Mauro
12-10-2008

The Supreme Court has already shown its skepticism of the Bush administration’s war-on-terror policies through a series of rulings vindicating the rights of Guantánamo detainees and “enemy combatants.”

On Wednesday, another aspect of the administration’s policies drew criticism from at least some justices: the roundup of Arab-Americans and Muslims that the government said had some terrorist connection, in the immediate aftermath of the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. But the Court seemed unlikely to act on that skepticism and expose top government officials to personal liability for their role in ordering and administering the roundup.

Pakistani citizen Javaid Iqbal, one of 184 “high-interest” suspects taken in, claims the policy was discriminatory and that he was mistreated at the so-called ADMAX housing unit at the federal correction center in Brooklyn, N.Y. In the case now titled Ashcroft v, Iqbal, Iqbal is seeking to hold former Attorney General John Ashcroft and former FBI director Robert Mueller, as well as middle- and lower-ranked prison officials, personally liable for violating his rights. Iqbal filed the suit in May 2004 after being deported to Pakistan.

The issue before the Court was whether Iqbal’s complaint was sufficient to state a claim against Ashcroft and Mueller and to get past summary judgment—thereby exposing the officials to costly and time-consuming discovery.

At the district court and appeals court levels, judges rejected government efforts to dismiss the complaint. The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 2nd Circuit, citing the high court’s sometimes contradictory rulings on what plaintiffs must state at the outset to make a viable complaint, said Iqbal’s allegations, though general, were plausible enough to survive.

As the justices debated the issue, several discussed that issue of plausibility—whether it was even plausible that Ashcroft and Mueller could have been involved in setting policies or actually doing harm to Iqbal.

Solicitor General Gregory Garre, arguing for Ashcroft and Mueller, insisted that Iqbal’s attempt to link top officials to his treatment was not plausible. “Common government experience,” Garre said, would suggest that the attorney general is not involved in “microscopic decisions” such as those at issue in the Iqbal case.

But Justice David Souter disagreed, stating that “the claim . . . that the attorney general or the director of the FBI was establishing a . . . policy that centered on people with the same characteristics as the hijackers does not have that kind of bizarre character to it and, I think, would not run afoul of the plausibility standard.”

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg also seemed to doubt Garre, invoking a report by the inspector general of the Justice Department that she suggested “lends some plausibility to Iqbal’s claims.” That 2003 report found that Ashcroft and Mueller were intimately involved in the policies regarding post-9/11 detentions and that most detentions were based on racial and religious characteristics.

Alexander Reinert, representing Iqbal, also cited the report as proof that “from the attorney general’s office there was a direction to make the conditions of confinement as harsh as possible.” Reinert is a lawyer with the New York firm Koob & Magoolaghan.

But Garre insisted the policies were “perfectly lawful” and that the inspector’s report “can’t make up for the deficiencies in the complaint itself.” He argued that under the doctrine of qualified immunity, aimed at protecting officials from being sued for their official acts, Iqbal’s complaint should have been dismissed at the district court level.

Several of the Court’s conservatives seemed sympathetic to Garre’s position. With disdain, Justice Antonin Scalia said at one point, “That’s lovely, that the ability of the attorney general and the director of the FBI to do their jobs without having to litigate personal liability is dependent on the discretionary decision of a single district judge.”

The case has attracted the attention of former and current government officials who fear that if the 2nd Circuit is upheld, they will be exposed to liability in their decision-making that could be harmful, especially in reacting to national security emergencies.

A brief filed by the Washington Legal Foundation on behalf of five former attorneys general said the Iqbal case raises the prospect that top officials will have to face discovery and other proceedings even in frivolous cases. “They are very concerned by the effects that such disruptions are likely to have on the ability of high-level officials to carry out their missions effectively,” the brief states.

Tony Mauro can be contacted at tony.mauro@incisivemedia.com

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

How to Act in a Pet Store

This is just plain great. It says a lot about common decency, assumptions, expectations, self-entitlement, privilege, perception...

I love the pin-to-the-journalists'-balloon attitude.

Well-written and just eloquent in her/his use of "the spanking word," I'm an instant fan.

From the blog, Calculated Risk

Saturday, March 10, 2007
Media Inquiries Policy

by CalculatedRisk on 3/10/2007 05:18:00 PM

From CR: Regular readers will immediately recognize that the following piece was written by Tanta. I'd like to add that I have an excellent relationship with several prominent reporters (you know who you are), and I look forward to continuing our offline discussions via email and phone calls. I've never sought any personal publicity, although I'd be happy if you quoted from the blog (with a reference). For those reporters hoping to have a similar relationship with Tanta, please think of Tanta as the Man in Black from the "Princess Bride":

INIGO: Who are you?!

MAN IN BLACK: No one of consequence.

INIGO: I must know.

MAN IN BLACK: Get used to disappointment.

Dear Inquiring Minds:

Calculated Risk is a hobby blog, created and maintained by a retired executive, with occasional assistance from a former bank officer and mortgage lending specialist who is currently on extended medical leave. Both of these people get endless questions, answers, hat tips, links, analysis, and overall inspiration from a very diverse group of commenters, regulars and occasional de-lurkers, all of whom are beloved except some of them.

CR regularly gets emails and comments from paid reporters who wish to know if CR or Tanta would like to be interviewed, or would simply like to answer one or several questions that the reporter has about economic or housing or mortgage issues. Because, so far, the answer has always been something on the order of “no,” we would like to explain to you why this is the case. (CR Note: I have no problem discussing general economic and housing issues offline).

Calculated Risk is a blog. That means that it is a medium on which CR, Tanta, and the commenters are free to publish the things they want to say about subjects in which they are interested and to which their expertise is relevant. It is possible that there are bloggers out there who are publishing blogs with the secret hope that they will be discovered by the Big Paid Media and get interview requests, so that they may see their names next to a short, context-free, undetailed, possibly memorable or pithy but usually just crudely-edited quote in the newspaper. Some people may have ambitions that go beyond that, such as becoming a freelancer for Big Media companies, in order that they may get paid in the high two figures to produce short, simple-minded articles that Big Media won’t fact-check any more than they fact-check anything else. There may even be bloggers so delusional innovative that they still have hopes that the Big Media, print or online, will quote directly from their blog postings and provide links (text or hypertext, as the format allows) so that Big Media’s readers can be directed to the blog for further information. It’s a big internet, we’re not all alike, and neither CR nor Tanta intends to be speaking for any bloggers other than themselves here. Suffice it to say we are not in the above categories.

Dear reporters, we quote your stuff periodically, giving credit both to the reporter and the publication, under fair use terms. We have no objection to your returning the favor. If you have an editor who will not allow that, and you think that the problem can be solved by getting one of us to drop our online personas, give you our real names, and say the same thing to you over the phone, so that you can get your editor to accept it as something other than just blogging, which everybody knows is untrustworthy ranting by anonymous nuts, you are making a faulty assumption about the relationship among us, our birthdays, and yesterday. Neither CR nor Tanta wishes to play into a set of assumptions that render what we say on the blog as unworthy of coverage by the Big Media, but what we might say on the phone to Intrepid Reporter as good dirt and straight skinny.

Do you, can you, understand the implicit insult in that? You want to talk to us because of what we have written on this blog, instead of simply engaging with what we have written on this blog. You are saying that blog entries we have written, at our own inspiration, on our own time, for our own intellectual purposes, backed up by our own research, are not good enough for you to use as source material (properly credited). It only “counts” if you get to ask the questions, form the story angle, edit the material, and put names on it. This is the message we’re getting from you, and the only reason that our answer to many of your inquiries is “no” is that we are—CR at least, is—too polite to make it “no, and go take a hike with the horse you rode in on.”

Some of you are also, if we may say so, operating out of a sense of entitlement that takes our breath away. Here is the entirety of an actual email we received from an actual reporter of a print publication (names omitted to protect the egregious):

I am working on a story about Wells Fargo and subprime lending. I am trying to determine if Wells Fargo bears any sort of risk to the subprime shakeout. You covered this topic on Feb. 16 after John Stumpf presented to the CFSB conference.

I have the same questions many of your bloggers did. What is co-issuing and does that really remove WFC from any risk from these loans?

That is the entire message except for the name and newspaper of the sender. CR and Tanta, who have both worked in large corporations for non-trivial amounts of time, can testify that we have rarely gotten emails like that even from our bosses, who were paying us in dollar-denominated instruments and therefore reserved the right to ask us to do some work. Tanta has herself received email requests for research and information from the CEO of her company that managed to include “please” somewhere near the beginning and “thank you” somewhere before the end. She has also received email requests from business associates who were not actually providing her paychecks, but who were sources of business for her company and thus part of what made her employer profitable, that included not only “please” and “thank you” but such phrases as “if you have the time” and “I realize you aren’t paid to do this, but” and “please let me know what I can do for you in return.” Stuff like that.

Let us say that we cherish those reporters who are regular readers of ours and insightful commenters on the blog, enthusiastic participants in a new medium, interlocutors rather than overlords. We hope any representative of the Big Paid Media will join us in our journey of discovery—just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of a post, make up a handle for yourself, and type away! Feel free to make suggestions for future posts; everyone else does. Feel free to share your own information; everyone else does. Feel free to get flamed if you get uppity; everyone else does.

At the end of the day, please try to understand that we’re doing this for fun. We are not being compensated except for the modest ad revenue that covers the costs of hosting the blog and doing some subscription research that pays salaries for Real Reporters. Insofar as you are sending us inquiries because you think we sound like professionals and have brains in our heads, we’re flattered. However, like you, we just want people to read what we have written. We are not here to hawk our services as comment-bots for some reporter on deadline, nor are we interested in anyone’s investment strategies. This blog is not about helping anyone else make money in the stock or bond or real estate market. Commenters are free to discuss such issues, although they are subject to being banned or having their comments edited if they appear to be disseminating insider information, or trolling for suckers to buy some product or service, or just hijacking threads to endlessly request investment advice that will not be given, unless such comments are sufficiently entertaining to the rest of us and provide useful opportunities for clever snark. The definition of “appropriate comments” is at the whim of the blog host, and there is no avenue of appeal. This guideline extends to emails sent to the blog host, which may or may not be read or answered as the blog host’s time, energy, and idiosyncratically fluctuating level of enthusiasm for reading emails allow. (CR Note: I try to read and respond to most emails) If you do not receive an answer to your email, it may be that we are simply without the time to get to it. It may be, as in the example above, that we do not trust ourselves to answer without blowing our cool in ways that are not conducive to a pleasant retirement or tranquil recuperation. Yes, this means that you are dealing with some hobbyists who really don’t care if this sounds “professional” or not. That is what we have been trying to tell you all along by our choice to be bloggers instead of professional research organizations. We apologize if our strategy was insufficiently transparent.

P.S.: If you are a Nigerian Prince, or anyone else, in need of a bridge loan in order to secure Endless Riches that you would like to share with us, please provide us with your SSN/TIN, checking account number, ABA/routing information, home address, and photographs. We promise not to share that information with anyone other than one or two acquaintances of ours at the DOJ. TIA, as we say on the blogs!
Posted by CalculatedRisk on 3/10/2007 05:18:00 PM

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Une Cadavre

I was tempted to cite several posts from a few years back that forewarned of some of the darkness. Though I'll be the first to admit that I never thought it'd be this bad.

Instead, here's a joke, courtesy of P-Dawg. As is said, many a truth is told in jest....

DEDICATED TO: Hank Paulson, Ben Bernanke, Congress, AIG, The Fucking Banking System, hedge fund managers, the IRS, HMOs, health insurance co's and insurance co's in general (actually sanctioned gambling casinos), drug companies, lobbyists and the politicians who do their bidding, mass media asleep at the wheel, walmart, the dumbya administration...

AND ANY OTHER JERKOFF SHITHEAD FUCKNUT WHO'S GOT THEIR HAND IN MY WALLET AND/OR BILKED/SOLD OUR COUNTRY DOWN THE RIVER FOR PERSONAL GAIN OVER THE GENERAL WELFARE.

GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

THANK YOU.

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes...???" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing:

"Hey, this tastes like shit!"

Then I would say, "It is shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Mitch Mitchell, R.I.P.

As the Boomers grow old, we're now seeing people that made their mark from that era dying off. Mitch Mitchell was one of them.

I love drums, the rhythm and heart of music, and among musicians, Mitchell was respected. Unlike Experience bassist Noel Redding, Jimi would continue to use Mitch once that band had ended. He played with Jimi at Woodstock, and with Billy Cox replacing Redding, a later incarnation of the power trio. I don't know much more about his personal life save for what's in his Wiki, which says that he began acting, was self-taught and then took a few drum lessons at Jim Marshall's. (he of the legendary Marshall amps, used almost exclusively by Jimi and tons of other guitarists) He made a career for himself drumming sessions, playing in a few bands, was influenced by the great Elvin Jones, and then received a fateful call up from Chas Chandler that would forever cement his place in rock history.

I love Mitch's playing, which some critique as too busy. I don't agree, and certainly Jimi didn't. He seemed like a cool dude; it's a shame that creative people like Mitch (he was only 61) who bring so much enjoyment to the world die when devils are running amok.

Play it, Mitch!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Jane Elliott

As we enter into a hopefully new and improved phase of race relations with B-rack's election, I thought it'd be appropriate to talk about a true genius on the subject. In my opinion, very few white people really "get it" when it comes to race and power. The poster boy for white anti-racists is Tim Wise, who, while I think he makes sense, truth be told he says nothing that people of color haven't covered before. His value is in that hopefully, whites will listen.

Jane Elliott is far more valuable as a white anti-racist, her legend cemented in her famous "brown eyes/blue eyes" exercise. There's plenty of info on the web about her that I need not repeat. What is remarkable to consider is the context within which she originally devised her exercise, the crucible of the 60's in America. Because while that time is marked by its historic turbulence, it was also an awakening of a new consciousness emerging. What I mean is that as an awakening, it was the beginnings, and as such, there was still plenty of resistance, ignorance and bundles of naivete. In this setting, in the tiny town of predominantly white Riceville, Iowa, greatness emerged.

In the 80's, as I was about to go back to school, PBS's venerable series Frontline, ran a special commemorative viewing of A Class Divided, the documentary about Elliott's famous experiment. (Originally, I believe, it was called The Eye of the Storm. Frontline re-broadcast the original film, and brought back the students as grown ups to talk about their experiences) It is without a doubt one of the top ten films I've ever seen, insightful and moving like none other. It has, as I like to quote in these situations, what Breton said of Cesaire:

That unmistakable major tone...


It is so painfully and beautifully human.

I've been lucky in my life. A few years back Ms. Elliott came to UCLA to talk, and we got to meet. She is so friendly, down to earth and practical. More - and this is where her work is far in advance of Tim Wise - she goes beyond talking; she does. Jane Elliott transcends teaching, or rather, she elevates teaching to the level of great art.

There is a pristine moment toward the end of the film, after the children, having gone through the exercise, like little wounded birds, emerge from their own intense crucible within a crucible. And they are joyous. As you watch, if you have a heart, it soars with every kid.

If you value my opinion, or even if you don't, take a chance. If you care about race relations, what real education can and should be, watch. Don't do it now; wait until you have a quiet moment this weekend. Eat first, grab a cup of coffee or tea. Relax. Turn off the boob tube, your cell. And devote an hour of your life to this film. I promise you, if you care about what it is to be human, in this world, at this time, you will see.

Watch A Class Divided

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Biggest Thugs

I'm hopeful for B-rack, but the reality is that we are spiraling out of control. Make no mistake; what's going on in Amerikkka is nothing less than the biggest thugs committing the largest heist in history. For those of you who read here, I urge you to tune in to CNN's Lou Dobbs, virtually alone in the mainstream media in his unabashed calling out of this theft.

Remember, the mainstream media has a major role in this. They are a sham, when so much is at stake, they are not informing us of the reality happening right now.

Before he was elected, Howard Stern said that dumbya would bankrupt the country. Howard Stern! That has now come true, and dumbya's new record low approval rating does little to console a country out of control. Folks, if someone doesn't do something to reign in Congress to let them know this is insane, we are selling my daughter's generation down the river. And that pisses me off. It should piss you off as well.

And if it doesn't, you need to ask yourself and everyone you know why it doesn't.

Note to B-rack; you need to consult with David Cay Johnston. Now.

Courtesy of Dobbs today, here are the points every American needs to be aware of, the first major deconstruction of AIG:

$85 Billion for the first looting

$60 Billion for the second looting

NOW they are asking for an additional $27 Billion because AIG is struggling to meet the terms of its agreements.

"more money, cheaper rates, more flexible terms - it's historic, in US financial markets, where one institution has this much money available to it."
-Bill Bergman, Morningstar

Reduced interest rate on $60B as a result of this re-structuring

FED buys:

$40 Billion of preferred stock to be bought by treasury

$22 Billion from Fed to buy "toxic loans" ie: mortgage-backed securities

$30 Billion to guarantee credit default swaps, ie: unregulated insurance contracts that are in reality ultra risky bets, the highest stakes gambling in history.

==================

In the background, GM hits 60 year low for share price; bailiouts now heard... haven't they received 25B already???

Friday, November 07, 2008

Just Go NOW. PLEASE.

I watched B-rack's press con today, and remarked to Fish that it was such a relief to see a president (yes, he is my president, not the bozo there now) who's smart, articulate, deliberative, analytical, self-aware... and just poised. I then remembered that some kids' sports have a "mercy rule" whereby if one team is slaughtering another then the game is halted to avoid further embarrassment.

We outghta have a clause like that post-election, where we can just tell dumbya and his thugs to get the fuck outta Dodge now.


Art: Shephard Fairey for MoveOn.org

Thursday, November 06, 2008

EVERYBODY'S an Expert

So I've been inundated with info about Barack, particularly the guessing game about cabinet nominees. Emanuel's already accepted CoS. Richardson's on the short list for SoS, and Volcker for the Treasury; personally, I sincerely feel that this country desperately needs David Cay Johnston advising economically. And Johnston's a Republican! Hillary was conspicuous by absence.

I would think Schumer's gotta be in there somewhere. But Tom Friedman needs to be tapped. He doesn't have micro down, but he has macro. Muhammad Yunis should be tapped for micro-lending. In an astounding turn-around, Mike Milken (!) is now working with Yunis on micro-lending; they already have a program up and going in Queens. Think about what this does for everyday folks who are hurting, or just have dreams of entrepreneurship, but no capital, no connections, no collateral. If America is to realize more fully its sloganeering rhetoric of "anything's possible" then that must include opportunity. This is a proven, sober and very economically sound path. It's humane, it has a heart. It's battle tested.

Here are a few more ideas:

1. SUSTAINABILITY CZARS - This needs to be a committee because it's so important. I agree with Tom Friedman that a "Green America" is energy forward, environmentally conscious, entrepreneurial, geo-political, and economically conservative AND stimulating. It'd take another essay to explain all of those, but, back on point, this committee should contain sub-committees on:

A. ENTREPRENEURSHIP - Entrepreneurs are the base, they are the ones taking the risks and developing the Google's of Green - HELP THEM. They are good for America, good for the economy. They are key in helping wean America off of our addiction to oil. OPEC's got us by the balls - this is the way out. That in turn gets us out of South Asia and our insane war mentality that has oil as its motive. The madness ends here, with a coherent strategy for sustainable energy.

These green companies who go on to develop and flower are good for the economy; they create jobs that people can feel good about as opposed to being just another cog in the wheel of corporate America.

B. HEALTH CARE - The number one reason for foreclosures, combined with this insane system of adjustable rate mortgages and derivatives, hedge funds, over-leveraging, etc., is health care issues. Bankruptcy's as well. This is a major economic, health and welfare issue. With tens of millions of boomers heading into retirement, our broken health care system is headed for crisis - it already is in crisis.

But Barack's plank on this issue will do nothing to solve the central problem, that is, the oligarchy that has a stranglehold on health care. This is because the oligarchy - comprised of insurance, HMOs and drug companies, are way to economically powerful. Any one of those three has lobbyists with deep pockets and banks of lawyers. Citizens can't possibly fight on that level.

Until Barack and congress decide to address this central problem, health care in America will loom as a major social and economic problem. There's no other way. Solution? Single payer. This is a major reason why I voted for Cynthia McKinney.

2. WARS - We need out of Iraq. The SoD must have a mandate on a clear plan for dis-engagement including infrastructure for Iraq. Most Americans aren't even aware of the reality that Iraqis don't have running water and electricity, let alone jobs and a viable economy that sustains living sanely. All of Iraq, save for ONE region: the oil producing south. What does that tell you about the lie the dumbya administration said: "It's not about oil." Bullshit. The plan must also include giving aid health care-wise to Iraqis as well as our service people. The Walter Reed scandal is shameful and more evidence of this administration's utter disregard of our young people who have suffered. When a person has been injured, it effects their whole family - COMPENSATE THEM, TAKE CARE OF THEM, IT'S THE LEAST WE CAN DO. This madness must end now.

In each case, there's massive amounts of work. The keys are:

1. To assemble good teams
2. Formulate clear plans - Budgets, schedules, reporting, accountability
3. Get them up and running
4. Communicate - The time has come for an administration to consistently communicate with us. Taking a page from Howard Dean, Barack's team mobilized on the Internet in the modern age. He and his advisers should not forget that. How easy is it to set up a Barack blog where the public could read updates, give commentary, etc.? Rahm Emanuel or whoever ends up being press sec could oversee this and staff it with people who monitor it. Companies - forward thinking companies - now do this, the most obvious example being Google.

These are my first ideas in the immediate blush of this post-election.

Good luck brothaman - you'll need it for this mess you've inherited.

More later.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Barack

My biggest fears have been waylaid; leading up to the election, I was telling friends how I wouldn't be surprised if Barack lost - hey, there are vast regions of this huge country that don't like my sort, let alone Blacks - and that if it came to a showdown, the devils would take a page from Florida and resort to some sort of trickery, as they did with Florida in Gore v. Bush. Neither's happened, Barack's the president, so a sigh of relief.

While I'm much happier that Barack's our president than the retardican alternative, I have problems with him, chief among them his recent advocacy of and voting for the bailout. Then there's his take on the healthcare crisis, one which will do nothing to break the oligarchy of HMOs, drug and insurance companies that dominate it with their lobbyists and lawyers.

But he is president now, and if I had a meeting with him I'd tell him to keep it simple. There's such a shitload of disasters he's inherited that his governance now becomes one of management. This is key. He's got to concentrate on a few, maybe a couple of things and take baby steps. Show some gains, get the team assembled for tackling the particular problem, get them up and running and then move on to the next. His biggest potential mistake will be if he tries to do too much.

He must also be honest and say that that's what he's going to do. Last, taking a cue from Howard Dean, his team was so savvy in terms of tapping the net. He should remember that.

I took Renee to the airport today, she's gone off to Hawaii for school, and I'm empty nesting, missing her already. But we have a Black prez. Just as I see a small light trying to break through in my daughter to find herself, I see a small ray of light for our country. Barack's slogan: "Yes we can." And as cynical a curmudgeon as I am, in this desperate time, I want to believe.

Go do your thing, brothaman.

And how did I vote? Well, I voted Black. Cynthia McKinney.

Monday, November 03, 2008

The Forever Fight

On the eve of this "historic" election, I question the whole shebang. One thing puts it into perspective, and that's the bailout. Both Obama and Old worn-out man (hereafter, Owom) advocated and voted for it. For years now I've tried to explain my side as an independent, mainly, how both of these parties have sold us down the river. And yet I see friends and relatives biting on the Obama plank as if termites.

That's no small thing. My old man came out of the service, and, with the aid of the GI Bill, he and moms bought a modest house at a reasonable price, just as tens of thousands of families in the post-war era did. They constituted the burgeoning middle class that the American style of capitalism would nurture and extract from in symbiotic (vampiric?) ecstasy. Note; I'm fully aware that that was also a Norman Rockwellian painting, mostly devoid of peeps of color.

That was the creation of American capital's greatest achievement: the middle class.

While there were of course hard interrogations of "the system," most notably the 60's & 70's, they did nothing to overturn the system of a corporate run state system.

And yet, for better or worse, there was economic prosperity in America, albeit at the expense of poor people of color throughout the world, via the new colonialism of global capital.

One of the things I've been telling folks, most notably at the local YMCA where in the steam room coffee housing it up has reached a fever pitch, is that under this administration, four decades of building a prosperous middle class has been trashed.

Let me say that should he win, Obama's election is nothing more than posturing, mere puffery and will do essentially nothing to create true change in America and the world it runs. This is because of the system of capitalism we have that caters to the political donor class (hereafter, "pdc"; thank you, David Cay Johnston) - that class of economic slobs who Obama and Owom helped bail out. Incidentally and lest ye think me fishes too much:

Obama's biggest contributors include Lehman Brothers, JP Morgan Chase, National Amusements, Inc. which is the parent company of Viacom and CBS, Citigroup and, Goldman Sachs which is "his number one banking contributor.
--John MacArthur, president/publisher, Harper's

I single out Barack here because it's a forgone conclusion that Owom is just out to lunch when it comes to anything modern, but of course he is just as guilty of taking from and in turn catering to and serving the whims of the pdc.

But as deluded, mislead and under influence of the ultimate narcotic, money (but in reality the chasing of money), at least those who invest and believe in our system have hope. Let's face it; realistically, it's peeps like me that have no hope.

Just look at health care, one of the major trains speeding down the tunnel toward us. There's a fundamental reason why health care will forever remain privatized and corporate controlled, and it has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with capitalism American style. Too general? Okay, consider, the American health care system is dominated by three industries: HMOs, insurance and drug companies. Any one of those three is a major lobbying source with deep corporate coffers and armies of lawyers waiting to do their bidding. (Because it's their economic imperative; Surprise! Lobbyists and lawyers on this level don't live in East LA) Three of these giant industries together all working toward keeping the system in place (the root of "conservatism" is "conserve," after all) constitutes a tripartite oligarchy that is the bully of bullies. Within this system they cannot be beat.

And anyone who rails against socialism, consider, EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the judicial and executive branches as well as congress has socialized health care - FOR LIFE.

But they refuse to give it to the American people.

I will advocate for Barack over the old, worn-out man simply because he's smarter, more modern and is at least capable of choosing a vp candidate. (again, within the context of our system) But people, my dear mudpeeps, family and friends, don't suffer under the illusion of anything fundamentally changing should Barack win.

Where is the kindness and intelligence that will save us...?

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

It's Comin', or, The 3 - 2 Slider

In a year that has been so improbable, the impossible has happened!
-Vin Scully

With all of the craziness going on with the economic meltdown and the theft of taxpayer money, it's fitting that I'm writing on a great sports moment to remind myself that humans also produce beauty. Despite the scandals that have rocked major sports (roids in baseball, the prosecution of the Atlanta Falcons' Michael Vick for dog fighting, and NBA ref Tim Donaghey busted for fixing games), I'm a romantic. I remember the love I had for athletes and sports as a kid, and that has carried over to adulthood.

I love sports because there's no pretension on the court or field; you can talk shit all you want, but at the end of the day, it's your performance that stands. As I've said before, in East Los we played seasonally, basketball, football and baseball. The latter was not my favorite to play, but this piece focuses on a great sports memory; Kirk Gibson's '88 home run, at Dodger Stadium in the lead game of the World Series. Today marks the 20th anniversary of the (second) shot heard 'round the world.

I happened to be watching the game by myself, and the moment was marked by high drama; Dennis Eckersley, Oakland's and the major league's run-away consensus lock as the ace reliever. Gibson, who would go on to garner the MVP Award, hobbled by knee injuries, was called up by manager Tommy Lasorda with one man on and the Dodgers' backs against the wall. They had to score.

The count would come down full, 3 and 2 with 2 outs. And then, in one of my favorite documentaries on Fox Sports, they cut to Dodger scout Mel Didier. In dramatic tones, he said that with the count full, Eckersley would fall back on his slider. The tape then cuts to Gibson, and he calls time, steps out of the box, then cuts to Gibson in-studio, recalling the moment Didier shared this to-be classic edge of information, and Gibby says two of the greatest words an athlete can say:

It's comin'.

But in a key and very shrewd move, before he called Gibson to come out, Lasorda told Gibson to stay out of view. Instead, he had "light-hitting" Dave Anderson on deck as the next batter. Thus, Eckersley was willing to live with putting Mike Davis on base. Davis then would steal second and put himself in scoring position.

It's why I love sports so much, the strategy, the out-thinking. The Dodger organization had given Gibson the edge he needed.

When the time came, Lasorda of course called up Gibson to pinch hit instead of Anderson, and the crowd went wild, affirming what Gibby had told himself if the time came; that their positive reaction would help him get past the pain.

When he connected on the as Didier predicted Eckersley slider, people in the neighborhood went crazy; shouts could be heard everywhere. Chills went up my spine as I pumped my fists in the air.

It's hard for people who don't love sports to understand, but watching great moments like Gibby's home run rivals anything in art for me. I find it endlessly fascinating to take highly trained athletes, put them in pressure cooker situations and watch what happens. It's even more drama and fun when you stake the game. A friend of a friend was at the game; when the shot found its way to the right field bleachers, he cried.

I remember Gibson circling the bases, doing his now famous fist pump. What a moment.

Jim Gray, a seasoned sports reporter for NBC, says in a documentary commemorating Gibson's home run, that he was at the game as a fan. With little hope left, he had to run a friend to the airport and left early. As the tape of the hit runs, the taillights of the cars who'd made their early departure can be seen exiting. Cut to Gray who then relives that moment:

[by the time they'd tuned him in on the car radiolegendary Dodger broadcaster] Vin Scully was breathless, and we both looked at each other. What idiots! We've just left history.
-Jim Gray


Tuesday, October 07, 2008

The Only Game in Town

On September 7, just as the Fed moved in on Fannie Mac, I wrote:

And perhaps the worst part? Aside from the fact that we're now laying the hugest pile of crap at the feet of future generations, if I had to bet, no one's going to lift a finger to stop the ongoing slaughter that's only going to be much more brutal now.

Boy, was I wrong. Not only has the brutality been much worse than I forecast, but they sure have lifted a finger, as we've seen with this disaster of an almost trillion buck bailout.

The thing that gets me is I'm sitting here listening to this blowhard Suze Orman on CNN, a so-called financial planner, who's wildly popular given the amount of tube time she gets. What galls me is how heavily invested she is in this ponzi scheme; all of her advice revolves around still staying engaged in this system. Where alternate methods would now seem to be the way out, she makes it seem as if this is the only way - to keep monitoring for good buys at fire sale prices, reducing credit card debt, etc. Basics that anyone with common sense should know.

But what about those alternatives? Localism is never spoken about in mass-media, nor is micro-finance, two ways communities can fight back economically.

Conglomeration is another. The only way economically disadvantaged communities have to fight back is by voting with their dollars. Buying from local merchants is only the beginning - for just as the empire of neo-colonial global capital extracts resources (ie: capital, human resources) out of communities and concentrates it in a very tiny percentage of the political donor class/economic elite is a system, so must localism be one.

But everyone's so invested in "the market" that they can't see anything else. The ones who may not have a lifestyle you or I would enjoy, such as communal living, are looked upon as wackos. I think a lot of them are nuts (for the most part, harmless nuts), but I also think the underlying premise - a non-mainstream way to opt out of this system - is valid.

From an economic standpoint, they've understood that conglomerating is a key ingredient. When will our local communities ever wake up? On the other hand, we can't ignore reality and say the communities are really "ours" until we fight economically, can we?